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thumb|300px|right|Petrov, Yelyena and Me (live version)

Petrov, Yelyena and Me is a song performed by Bret, Mel and Doug in the series final Evicted. It is sung in a heavy Russian accent and it is about three friends, Petrov, Yelyena and Burthult, lost at sea, and after a while Petrov and Yelyena begin to eat Burthult piece-by-piece over the period of 4 months, until finally Burthult consumes arsenic to poison his flesh, resulting in the death of the two cannibals. In the live show, Jermaine fills in as Petrov, and also sings the melody with Bret.


Petrov, Yelyena and Me, lost but happy at sea

Petrov and Yelyena said to me; "shouldn't we have something to eat?"

Well I said there's plenty of fish in the sea

But all they can see is me.

they say "Any last requests?"

Bidding my time I say yes

I want to party, just we three,

Lost, but happy at sea

So we drank all night from the keg

I passed out, then I woke with one leg

I said "Hey Petrov, have you seen my leg?"

He said "No" and he went back to bed.

But he looked suspiciously well fed.

Three days later they're hungry again, they say

"Any last requests, again, my friend?"

So I said "Do you know any Rolling Stones!?"

It was a hilarious moment in a very bleak, bleak time in my life.

So we danced all night to the Rolling Stones

When I woke up they were chewing on bones

Yelyena was sipping blood from a cup

That's when I knew something was up

"Hey Petrov"


"What is that you are eating? It looks like a meat!"

"Oh this, em, it's just one of those..ahhhhhhhh...Fish"

"How come it looks so much like my arm!"

"It's an.....Arm-Fish"

"But what about the fingers?"


"Oh, it's just one of my arms seems to have been hacked off at the elbow last night.......I was just wondering if you might have seen it?"

"Oh hey look at that, no arm over there!...........Don't you just hate it when that happens!.....Hmmmm, you were very drunk last night, perhaps you lost it?.........In a fair game of chance"

"Oh yes, yes, you are probably right!"

"Yeah, you know how it is when you are drunk"

"Yes, that was probably it!"

" I.....I'd Bet my arm!......Just relax, enjoy the sea and have some *fish*!"

Four months now, lost at sea

My friends have almost finished me

Now they're using recipes

"Tonight, we are having some *Me Goren*"

"Burthult, this "You Goren" is delicious! You should come over here right now and try some, you will be a part of yourself!"


"OOOOOOOhhhhhhh.......I know SOMEBODY who isn't getting any!"

Later that night while they were asleep

I swallowed some arsenic to poison my meat

I was very ill, but revenge is soooo sweet

Unlike the last meal my comrades would eat!


When I awoke, they were already dead

All that was left of me was my head

No, not dead, just a head

Lost, but happy at sea

Lost, but so lonely, at sea.........

Flight of the Conchords Songs
The Most Beautiful Girl (in the Room) · Robots · I'm Not Crying · Inner City Pressure · Boom · Rock the Party · Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymnoceros · Think About It · Song for Coco · If You're Into It · She-Wolf · Pencils in the Wind · Happy Birthday, Sally · Song for Sally · Business Time · Bowie · Bret, You Got It Going On · Albi the Racist Dragon · Mutha'uckas · Leggy Blonde · Foux du Fafa · A Kiss Is Not a Contract · Mermaids · Ladies of the World · The Prince of Parties · Cheer Up, Murray · Frodo (Don't Wear the Ring) · Bret's Angry Dance · Doggy Bounce · Rejected · Femident Toothpaste · Angels · Sugalumps · You Don't Have to be A Prostitute · Rap (Is Not Very Good) · Hurt Feelings (Reprise) · Stay Cool · Like In My Dreams · Friends · Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor · Do Australians Feel Love · Carol Brown · We're Both in Love with a Sexy Lady · Canine Pepilepsy · Love is Your Weapon of Choice · I Love Dogs with Epilepsy · Scarborough Fair · Demon Woman · 오! 그대여 춤추자 · Fashion is Danger · Bret's Day · I Told You I Was Freaky · Petrov, Yelyena, & Me